Fresh - By: Eleanor B.

TW: Self Harm

Rust coloured stains

against my white sheets,

i’ve done it again,

In my nighttime despair

They tear and split,

Gaping open

Dried pangs of anguish,

To which i marked each one.

They dance down my thighs

Diverse and expansive,

Engraved

Ornaments of my success.

The scars promptly fade

Leaving me with nothing,

But this empty feeling,

and a strange pomegranate paste.

Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.

I think it's probably pretty obvious but this poem is about my issues with self harm addiction. This poem describes waking up after self harming and the emotions that come with it. I tried to balance that feeling of disappointment, that you have done it again, while also including the feeling of release you experience. The last line refers to "pomegranate paste" which for some reason is how I have pictured my mental illness since I was a child.

Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.

I always find that I write the best when I talk about my feelings and forget about how it will sound to other people. I often fall into the trap of looking back on my writing and judging how I thought I was "so deep" and finding it hard to read. Today I just decided to remember that even if my writing is messy, that is okay. So I didn't really have a process like I usually do, I just went for it. I feel like I am done writing poetry just to keep it in a diary, I am looking for feedback on how to get better.

Why did you choose to write this poem?

I think I wrote this poem because I was craving that feeling of release. Instead of self harming I just decided to write about it which helped quite a bit. Self harm is not nearly talked about enough, whether it makes scars or not, its a big deal that requires help and so I wanted to bring awareness even if nobody reads this :).