Circus Freak - Alyssah Tonn

I can see the way you look at me.

I can hear the whispers too.

And yet I am expected to take it all?

I know it’s funny to you.

The way I am.

How I say random words.

How my neck jolts.

Who wouldn’t laugh at such a sight?

How I long for you to understand.

They do not define me.

I can’t control them.

Why can’t you see me?

I am the circus freak.

My tics an act played every day.

A show for all to see.

So step on up.

Have your laugh.

Then simply let me be.

Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.

This poem is my way of desribing what it is like to be someone with Tourettes Syndrome. People constantly look at me like I have this... disease. They stare. They mimic me. They whisper. I am not treated as equal. Hence, "Circus Freak". That is what society deems me; because I am not 'normal'.

Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.

Honestly... I was having a horrible day with my tics. Juggling trying to juggle calming the tics + people staring while I was out and about... I went home and was angry to say the least. So I wrote in that mindset' and this is the result.

Why did you choose to write this poem?

The world is too uneducated on things like Tourettes. Sure, it is a condition that has been studied enough to be diagnosed in people. But it is not something kids are taught in schools. It is not something anyone is actually properly educated on. Why else would so many people judge me when I blurt out words at random or do random movements? At some point we as a society have to stop saying "they didn't know" and start realizing that the reason there is so many issues... is because no one knows what its like. So this poem is my way of trying to put my voice out there. Show, in my own way, what my perspective is as someone with the condition. It is a tiny thing but it might just be enough to spark a chain of more people speaking out.

Do you have any tips or anything to share with the youth writers who may be reading this?

Hello.

You don't know me. But I want you to know that no matter what people say; this can become something. A job. A dream. Anything. I once was where you were, just getting into the groove of finding something I LOVED to do. So no matter what people say - shrug them off. All it takes is one person to believe in you.

And for those out there who, like me, struggle with something that impacts their lives (be it a condition, disability, etc)... you are stronger than you think. I first started poetry as a means to escape my life - and look at me now. Trying to be the voice that breaks the silencer society has placed to filter us all out. You might be different - but that doesn't define you. Remeber that.

Sincerely,

Alyssah