GIRL - By: Rowan Cocksedge

Hold yourself together girl

I’m not a girl

Whatever girl

Make yourself much smaller girl I’ll show you girl

You better learn

Hold your thoughts inside your head

Don’t drag your body back to bed

Be social girl

Be friendly girl

Be better than your friends dear girl

Why can you not love him girl?

He’s perfect girl

He shows up, girl

I know you don’t yet love yourself

But he’s right there

Love him instead.

You know that I am not a girl?

And I don’t love in the way you want

Oh nonsense girl, you’ve yet to see

Soon you’ll find a boyfriend girl

Soon you’ll find your other half

My other half is part of me

Oh stop it girl

You strain my nerves

It’s easy girl

Why can’t you learn ?

Just hold your tongue

And smile wide

And think good thoughts

And love good boys

And be nice to your family

And make more friends

And don’t gain weight

And don’t talk back

And get good grades

And fix your clothes

And don’t dress gay

And act like a girl

And grow your hair long

And forgive people

And don’t argue with people

And don’t tell people to shut up

And stay. In. Your. Lane

And learn to cook

And study hard

And never let your pain show

And never let your anger take control

And forgive

And be nice

And never talk about your body

And don’t wear to much make up

And wear enough make up

And dress modestly

And don’t be a prude

And live by these words for the rest of your life

See?

Its simple girl

Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.

I wanted to write a long explanation about what this poem means to me and me personally, but I'm not going to do that. Not long ago, I performed this poem at a talent show during a queer summer camp, meaning that the audience that heard it was primarily queer themselves. I expected it to be met with the same response. I expected people to identify solely with the queer aspects of the poem, but that was not the response I got.

After the talent show, several people came up to me to tell me their thoughts about the poem. Not one person interpreted it the same way, even though that audience was made up of people who had gone through many of the same experiences I had and could therefore identify quite easily with the queer aspects of the poem.

What I'm trying to say is, and please excuse the mild arrogance, I refuse to allow the meaning that you might find in this poem to be clouded by my interpretation of it.

Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.

Like most of the "good" poetry that I write, this poem was not planned, thought out, or edited in any way afterwards. When I write, I imagine that I am a character in a movie giving a long, dramatic monologue. That way, I can just rant in over dramatic language until I feel emotionally cleansed. If that makes any sense to you then I'm very sorry, but it's good to know I'm not alone.

Why did you choose to write this poem?

I can't remember exactly why, but I remember that I was angry. I was angry that I was being pushed to focus my attention on finding a boyfriend instead of focusing on myself ("he's right there, love him instead"), and I was angry at how the people in my life consistently reacted to my gender identity.

Do you have any tips or anything to share with the youth writers who may be reading this?

Your thoughts and emotions are important enough to be written down. There's no such thing as a pointless poem.