Watch Me - By: Amelia Savciuc

It’s not enough to lose myself in the road meant for someone else

losing myself is a given to be expected it’s the unforeseen consequences that I await

Better yet

If the twists between the sap-dripped beeches of Făgăraș and their morning plume lead me to the right city now that will turn the world around a good punishment run from the cage and wind up the gatekeeper It always finds you through every lens every universe maybe that’s our purpose to measure how long we’ll last until we give in to the damnation we’d been fleeing sometimes an antelope will chase a lion if the adrenaline flows the wrong way if it lights up the wrong parts of the brain When

I immigrated I left my necklaces behind I was young so they were less necklaces more wooden building blocks skewered onto fishing lines a ladybug an orange 5-petaled flower peas or maybe tea-green beads I’ve translated into peas when I immigrated maybe I left behind my morals too maybe it was intentional maybe it wasn’t my morals but my passion

To lose myself in a road forgotten to try to finger paint with grown digits I cannot reimagine the roads of Moldova here I had not memorized the land Didn’t know I had to Shadow I can almost envision it when I bike through parks it leads me away from the main paths plunges me off cliff sides drags me towards rose farms

At one end of the road me on the other you am I living through you or are you living through me are the ends interchangeable

Maybe it’s a kaleidoscope with only two positions The positions switching twice a day The progress you made overridden by me my progress cancelled out by yours one of us has to die for the scenery to shift Maybe we just need to trade roads

Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.

This poem talks about the constant fear of losing my roots while finding myself situated in a new country. It's a struggle between finding a place in Canada while a large part of myself has been forever lost in Moldova, my childhood home. It's trying to live in a constant dichotomy between the two countries and constantly considering what would have happened if I chose to stay. However, grateful for my position in a first-world country with a higher level of opportunities for me, I must accept the fact that Moldova now remains a memory and I must stay on the right path; because I cannot recreate my past life in a new country, I must let go of the persistent homesickness that has been holding me back and carve a new life for myself.

Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.

I wrote this while recalling memories from my childhood home in Moldova. I threw all of the people I met, the locations I would visit, and the interactions I encountered that stuck with me for so long onto this poem - or at least, if not the exact locations/interactions/people, then their atmosphere. It acted as a sort of outlet for aspects of my life that I had always been so afraid of forgetting. With this poem, I imprinted my homesickness and memories into a physical, indelible piece of work.

Why did you choose to write this poem?

I chose to write this poem to imprint the 'vibes'/atmosphere of my childhood memories in Moldova. Additionally, it was an attempt to reconcile with my feelings of disjunction: I had been stuck between two countries for so long that I needed to find any method to put myself together in one piece again.