Tableau in Plain Sight - By: Madelyn Tuns

On February 9th, at 5:56 PM, you died.

I was not beside you when this happened.

Though I’d been beside you the whole time, in those final moments, it was your parents that held your hand.

My feet rest on the chair in front of me; my arms folded over me as a shield. I looked out the window at the gray slush scattered along the sidewalk, illuminated by the streetlight above. The sun set about twenty, fifteen minutes ago.

You died in darkness. A darkness I would continue living in.

From the hall, I could hear your mom cry. A doctor went into the room. Conversations were had. Decisions were made. Your parents didn’t speak to me on the way out. Not even a glance.

I spent the night frozen. A montage of people moved around me. I was a tableau in plain sight; the scene continuing on without me.

In the morning, my brother picked me up. I didn't ask him too. We didn’t speak a word on the drive home. I spent the next four days in my bed. I went to the funeral. I gave a beautiful eulogy. I don’t remember it, but I was told it was beautiful.

I took the rest of the semester off. I didn’t eat much. I didn’t really do anything.

Then spring came along and my mother decided that was enough morning and it was time to get back out there. So I spent my summer sitting on the back porch.

I went back to school in the Fall. I started eating again. I left the house. I lived my life.

But it never really goes away.

Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.

A poem about grief and loss, through the eyes of a young adult.

Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.

Grief isn't something that goes away with time; it's something that's always lived with. There is a perception of what an appropriate time of mourning is, and after that is up people are expected to continue with their lives as normal. But grief changes people, and many can't go back to the way things were before.

Why did you choose to write this poem?

I chose to write this poem to explore feelings of grief and loss.