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Don Chisciotte Looks Up - By: Verneet Malhi

Everyone's told me, God lives inside of me. I’ve tried rolling my eyes as far as they go just to see Him. All it does is hurt. I don't try it anymore. I look at hawks and stomp in mud, picking the ones that soar too close. “Am I your baby?” I don't say that. The hat on my head falls off because I'm looking up. I take pictures of sweet calfs with infant fur, and drive by on my bike while their mothers watch with turned heads. “Is God inside you too?” I don't ask that. Cows can't talk. God never talks even if He’s written a dozen books. And He never answers the phone, so I'm not sure He loves me anymore. Preachers tell me He does everything and He’s planned it forever. My whole life is waiting for me. I don't know if I should say thank you or kill myself to spite him. He’s put the food on my plate and the fear in my heart. Everybody tells me He loves me. But He couldn't make me a boy or a soldier. All He does is make me wish for something better. He sowed hope and festered greed. And I know it’d be better if He could love me the way He’s supposed to. Pick up the phone. Eat my leftovers when He knows it'll make me cry. Sleep with my hand to His chest when I wake up falling or drowning. Let the day be nice and the strangers forgiving. He's supposed to. But He can't even look me in the eye.


Please give a detailed explanation about the meaning and main idea of this poem.


I have spent a lot of time around preachers. My family is devout and dharmic. Growing up everybody made it sound like God was closer than he really was. In some Sikh circles, there's a belief that's expressed, your parents are your material parents, but God is the true father and mother. But he is a bit more like a father than a mother, because he isn't very proactive when it comes to child rearing. I like him and I want his attention. Sikh preachers say God lives inside of every living thing, but it's still so hard to get to him.


Please explain your writing and thought process regarding this poem.


If I have to write something, it should be honest. Because I have to write, because it's my favourite hobby, I wrote scenes from memory, and real thoughts I have had. I wrote the poem like prose because I thought it might help it feel more like speech.


Why did you choose to write this poem?


I chose to write this poem because I am a part of the Fraser Valley Poet's Society in Abbotsford. I wanted to become closer with the other members, because they had also written about God. I have read it to them.


Do you have any tips or anything to share with the youth writers who may be reading this?


Sit down and type a few words. Don't leave the document blank.



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